Why I feel I am not drawing when I draw?

Yilu Cahill
4 min readOct 4, 2018

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I believe being creative is a soul searching journey.

After drawing since I was 6, I start to feel like I wasn’t drawing when I draw. This is a really weird feeling. Have you ever have the same feeling before or even right now when you are doing something?

Then I was searching for many ways to recover. I “bravely” give up painting for years. (I didn’t draw, but my brain yelling to me everyday lol) I started to make friend that not in art field such as business people, realtor, shop owner and yoga teachers.

But I start to feel my life is missing something important.

I noticed it is not because I draw too much, or draw too little. It is because I didn’t connect to myself fully when I draw.

Why is this?? And is this wrong??

After read many inspiration books, lectures, soul searching, meditation, drinking many tea and many other ways. I got some solutions and I want to share here to help who has the same blocks:

1.Stressful is normal

It was so easy, when you don’t have to handle that many thing in your life. I was blaming my father that he could never sit down and enjoy one movie. Later I understood why. When I just moved to U.S., I have to handle everything myself. Rent a place, work study, get used to the new place and work study. I didn’t have enough money to pay the tuition fee even I got a lot scholarship. I was stressful.

But in between, I created some artworks. Some of them are my best work. I noticed there is nothing wrong with stressful life. Embrace it, balance it and keep doing your creative work. Life will change better, and your artwork too.

2.Keep some close art friends

It was nice for me to make friends from other fields except art field, which makes me noticed how important art is in our life. My imagination needs a outlet, and art accidentally is my tool. But still, I need some close art friends to encourage me to keep going. You too. They will help you see yourself and your art from different angle, in the same time encouraging.

3.Draw, read, draw, read …

Don’t draw too much without reading. Don’t read too much without drawing.

Reading will help you grow art skills.

4.Art is not your salvation

I believe a great artist is not only have skills, but also connect to themselves. How they connect to themselves? By reflecting their lives and conquer life issues. I noticed I was using drawing to avoiding facing some issues from life when I was little. But the problem will be always there if I am not working on it. My art skill will not grow if I couldn’t handle my life’s problem.

5.Never compete

Everyone has different life journey and destiny. Yours is special and different from any of your friends, or masters. Just keep doing what your love as long as you connect to yourself.

6.Nothing wrong if you can’t see your own growth

The journey is pretty long, why do you have to see growth today? There are learning curves and many reasons. But at least you keep searching, you will see your growth someday.

7.Show your work

Don’t worry about losing your ideas or “crappy” artwork. Share your ideas/art to others. The most important is giving all you have, then they will all come back.

8.Be simple

Make your life simple, then you will have more space for creativity. Draw some simple art, so you know more about foundation. Make simple friends, so they will not cause drama in your life.

9.Keep an IDEA journal

Write down anything that inspiring you, even though you can’t find a way to use them right now.

1o.Realize what is the most important in your life

Every time when I need to move, I realized the most important stuff is something I couldn’t use money to buy. Anything I created, I couldn’t buy any where else. No one will create the same thing as I did. And I couldn’t create my 6 year’s old painting when I am 12. So just keep doing what you love and keep in mind, beside everyday’s agenda, the most important is your creative artwork.

11.I love number 11

Sensitive to what you love. This is the most important instinct to keep us alive and happy. Be aware some bad thoughts or negative people, then keep away from them. Just keep doing what you love like a little kid does.

12.Be yourself

It is common there are people don’t like you or your artwork. Just embrace it, but still be yourself. Focus on how to connect yourself. Other people’s opinion is only your own illusion.

13.There is nothing wrong

Any feeling you feel is nothing wrong. I can’t feel connecting to myself when I draw!? Great! I am not drawing very well today!? Great! Nothing is wrong. It is just a part of life journey.

At last, I hope everyone find your own happiness by doing what you love to do and connect to yourself. Hope this article could be helpful in your soul searching or creative journey.

Bye for now.

Reference:

Videos

Thank you for Ken sharing this video with me

Books

Steal like an artist

The artist’s way

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